Krystella’s Homoscopes

Scorpio – Fierce Creature

Element: Water

Ruling Planet: Mars, Pluto

Erogenous Zone: Genitals

Best Traits: Loyal, Passionate, Resourceful

Worst Traits: Jealous, Obsessive, Suspicious

Famous Scorpios

Check out two of our favorite Scorpio men

Ryan Gosling & Rice Gum




Well hello to all you handsome Scorpio men,

We started with you last year, and now we’re back on you. You have a funny habit of turning up just when the temperature drops and people are vulnerable. Guess that’s just a coincidence? Your symbol is a harmful insect with a poisonous sting and pincers, another coincidence?


Related Krystella’s Homoscopes Libra

Are you the most sexual sign?

It’s a pity Scorpios get such a hard time, but it’s easy to see why you’re one of the most feared of all the signs. Let’s try to focus on the good and happy aspects. When you are sexually satisfied, you are the best person to be around, content, happy, supportive positive and easy breezy.

The flip side to that is when you ain’t getting any, everyone knows about it, and you’re a royal pain in the butt.

Are you a leader?

You’re clearheaded and great in an emergency. If only the people around you didn’t have the underlying fear that you’re true motive is to eliminate them, then you’d make a great leader. Given the current climate, you’d actually be a great leader regardless.


Love & Hygiene

Romance – that’s something other signs do. You’re a passionate lover, talented at lovemaking, and long sweaty sessions. Roses, chocolates, and all that foreplay stuff? Blah! That’s better left to weak Aries and Leos. You get in there, get the job done, and are off to your next adventure.

Hygiene – you’re clean, some say too clean. You strip, pluck, wax, remove and control every inch of your body. As a human, you do have skin, but sometimes it can seem like a hard outer shell and maybe a hard inner shell too.


Inner Hunter

You can’t paint all scorpions with the same brush, but we will anyway. Scorpios are intense. You excel in villainy, are secretive and bear grudges. You are feral and visceral. You live for the hunt and celebrate victory in the glowing flames of the campfire in your mind. Some humans evolved to have empathy, you take advantage of that every chance you get. As far as anyone can prove, (to date) Scorpios are not actually vampires, but you may have inspired the brand.

Daily Agenda

A typical day for Mr. Scorpio goes like this: wake up, decide whether or not to topple society, permit humans to exist for one more day, eat cereal, organize a sex date with a wimpy sign like a Libra. Classic Scorpio. Then, after lunch you head out into the world to see what the mouth breathers have screwed up for today.

Positives of Scorpios: you allow mankind to endure for just a little longer.

Negatives: none, they are the overlords, and we love and obey them.

Big Wet Filthy Kisses

Lady K


Sign Compatibility


Move-In Material – Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces

Booty Buddy Chemistry – Virgo, Taurus, Gemini

Beware of Trainwreck– Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Best Bros Forever – Libra


Lady K. is not just a clairvoyant, she’s also an all knowing agony aunt: Krystella’s Inbox Sex Yoga

We brought three couples together in Love Beyond Borders.