Online dating is such a wild ride. Ever felt like you need a decoder just to understand what someone’s saying? Well, you’re not alone. With new slang popping up faster than you can say “send pics,” it’s easy to get lost in translation.
But fear not! We’ve put together a little guide for you. It’s in no way comprehensive, but it’s a good place to start. So, get ready to learn the lingo of love and lust in the digital age.
Let’s dive in. 🤓
420 friendly – If someone mentions 420, it means they like to smoke marijuana. The term is thought to have originated in the US in the 1970s, and since then, April 20th (or 4/20 if you’re American) has become a counterculture holiday where people gather to smoke and celebrate weed.
Accom – Accommodate. If someone can ‘accom,’ you can hook up at their place. It’s the same as “host” or “hosting” (see below).
Anon – Short for “anonymous.” The person prefers an anonymous hookup where they don’t know much about you – maybe not even what you look like (blindfolds… wink, wink).
How to use “Anon” in a sentence: He likes it anon, so he’ll probably be waiting for you blindfolded, ass up, with the door open.
AP – Assplay. This can include anything from fingers to toys or fists.
Bator – People who enjoy masturbating either alone (while watching porn, for example) or with others (in person or on webcams), usually for longer periods of time.
BB – Bareback sex or anal sex without a condom. Always make your own decisions on safer sex practices.
BDSM – Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. This can include things like roleplay, master/slave or dom/sub dynamics, tying up, blindfolding, or inflicting/receiving pain, among many other practices.
You wore a leather harness once, but that does not mean you’re “so into BDSM right now.”
BD – Bondage and domination.
Bear – Someone who is large, hairy, or both. 🐻
BJ – Blowjob. Come on, you knew that one. 😉
Bubblebutt – Has a perfectly peachy, bubbly, and bouncy booty. 🍑
Why’s everyone so obsessed with a big ol’ bubblebutt these days?
CBT – Cock and ball torture. This can include various activities, from squeezing and twisting using your hands to using toys and instruments.
CD – Cross-dressing. Someone who likes to dress up as the opposite sex or gender as a sexual fetish.
Chaser – Someone who ‘chases’ others with a larger physical build. This can also refer to anyone chasing a specific type of partner, mostly as a sexual fetish.
Chastity – Has their genitals locked down or restrained. May indicate that the person is submissive (although that is not always the case) and might be ‘owned’ by a master.
Are you a real sub? (See below). Well, here’s a little chastity cage for you. You can’t have second thoughts now.
Cleancut – Gives the appearance of neatness, perhaps by how they groom or present themselves.
Commando – No, he’s not in the military. He just prefers not wearing any underwear.
CPL – Couple.
Cruising – Loves to find a sexual encounter with someone else in a public place. “Cruising” can also refer to looking for sex online. It is mostly used in the context of public cruising (like in a park or a bathhouse).
Feeling cruisy? We wrote a whole blog about it. Check it out.
Cub – A cub is a younger bear (see above) and could have a slightly smaller frame. Not to be confused with otters (see below).
DILF – “Dad I’d Like to Fuck” — and no, he doesn’t need to be a real father to earn this title. But he definitely has to be giving Daddy energy.
Dirty – Refers to having dirty kinks. Like, actually dirty. This may or may not include things like scat (see below).
Discreet/DL – If someone is on the DL, they’re on the “down low,” meaning they aren’t out yet and need to be discreet and secretive about it. For example, they might not want to send photos or reveal too much information about themselves.
If they’re on the DL, then just get that D and GTFO. It’s probably gonna be an NSA situation (See below).
Dom – Dominant. Will tell you what to do. Doms are typically tops (but not always) and tend to like playing with more submissive guys.
DP – Double penetration. Two cocks, one hole. 🐓🕳️🐓
Quite literally a cock fight in there.
DTF – Down to fuck. If someone’s DTF, they’re looking for a hookup.
Edging – They love to repeatedly get closer to orgasm and then stop. This builds a deeper, stronger climax.
FF – Fist fucking, or just fisting. If you’re into FF, you can specify whether you’re passive or active on your ROMEO profile.
It looks like it hurts, but I heard it can be really FFun.
FWB – Friends with benefits. Someone looking for FWB probably wants a casual friendship with you where you could hook up regularly.
Furry/Furries – An enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, particularly a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online.
Gaymer – A gay who loves to play video games.
Gear – Signifying that someone is sexually aroused by fetish gear. It can refer to gear like harnesses and restraints or a whole outfit or getup.
Love that gear on you, daddy.
Ghosting – Ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. 👻
Group – Looking for or likes to have orgies and group sex.
Hosting/host – Can host you at their place (same as “Accom,” see above)
Hung – In case you’re unaware, this means, “Hi, I have a big 🍆.”
Into? – “What are you into, sexually?” or “What are you looking for on this app?”
JO – Jack off or Jerk off.
He’s getting ready to JO so hard. Look at that smile.
LTR – Mostly looking for a long-term relationship.
Looking – Is looking for sex at the moment.
Monogamy – Looking for a relationship – romantic, intimate, sexual – with one partner only.
In monogamous heaven. They’re so in love. I love that for them.
Non-scene – Avoids queer spaces such as clubs or bars. Non-scene people might tend to hang out in more straight-dominant places.
NSA – No strings attached. People looking for NSA or ‘NSA fun’ are looking for a simple hookup unlikely to result in a second date. A little less conversation and a little more ‘touch my body.’ 🎶
Otter – Otter. Not a twink, not yet a cub. Someone slim-ish and hairy.
Honey, you can be a bear, cub, or otter. Just shut up and put that hairy chest in my face.
Poly – Also known as “polyamorous.” A type of openly non-monogamous relationship where people have multiple relationships simultaneously.
Poz – Short for having a positive HIV status.
Public – Gets off on having sex or fooling around in a public space. Check out our blog “Hookup Confessions: Riding in Cars with Boys” if you want to know more.
Be safe out there!
Pup/Pup Play – A fetish where people dress up and behave like a puppy or a dog, using hoods, masks, tails, and other gear. Does not involve real animals in any way. It also does not always have to involve sexual acts. 🐶
Queer – A sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to established ideas of sexuality and gender, especially as laid out by heterosexual norms.
Safer sex – Prefers safer sex practices. This can mean using condoms, taking PrEP, or having an undetectable viral load, among others.
Everyone has the right to define their safer sex practices on their own terms. Communication is key when it comes to your preferences.
Scat – 💩
Side – A side tends not to partake in anal sex and prefers to have sex in different ways. For example, oral sex, jerking off, playing with toys, etc.
SM – Sadomasochism. Getting pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain.
Sober – Someone who does not partake in drug or alcohol usage.
Sub – Submissive. The perfect partner for a dom (see above), a sub is someone who likes to be dominated.
TasP – Treatment as Prevention. This means the person is HIV positive and is on medication. Antiretroviral therapy, or ART, makes the virus undetectable in one’s system, preventing it from being passed on to someone else.
Toys – Likes playing with sex toys, like dildos, butt plugs, etc.
Toys bring joy to the girls and the boys.
TT – Tit torture. This refers to nipple play, which normally involves biting, twisting, or using clamps.
Twink – Probably the most famous ‘gay slang’ word out there, referring to someone slim, hairless, and youthful. They also may or may not be drinking tons of iced coffee. 🥤
Twunk – A twink who has become a hunk, meaning he has hit the gym and put on some muscle but still retains a twinkiness.
TV – Transvestism. Also known as cross-dressing (see above).
Undetectable – The person is HIV positive, and the virus is undetectable in their system. This is because they are receiving antiretroviral therapy or ART. You may see the term “U=U” often, meaning Undetectable = Untransmissible. If someone is undetectable, they cannot pass HIV over to someone else.
Vanilla – Interested in sex without fetishes.
WS – Water sports. Sometimes referred to as piss play or golden showers. WS is for people who have a fetish for urine. This can involve being pissed on, pissing on someone else, pissing on oneself, etc.
Siri, play “Rain” by Madonna.
As we wrap up, remember this is… just the tip of the iceberg. The online dating lingo is always evolving, and there are tons of more words and phrases that we haven’t even begun to cover.
Wanna put your knowledge to the test? Get online right now and start chatting with other ROMEOs. 😈 If you don’t have an account yet, then just create one—it’s really that simple.
Happy hunting! 🚀