Krystella’s Inbox – May

If you’ve been here before, you’ll already know Krystella has a little bite in her love and life advice. If this is your first taste of Lady K, brace for impact. This month the all-knowing, wise woman of our tribe is advising on how to clean deeply and still respect your body and your booty, do you know what I mean?

Krystella receives a lot of enquiries about love, career and money, and  we select questions to reflect that. Many of Krystella’s responses can be offensive; others may apply to you.


How Clean is Clean?

Hello Krystella,

This is something I always worry about but I never know who to ask so I’ll come straight to the point. Quite simply, when are you really clean enough to have sex and not be worried about an unwelcome smell or brown stain?

My friends told me about washing inside with a little water and I try this, but sometimes it’s still not really completely clean. Also, I’m worried if I wash inside too much it can be bad for me. Sometimes I just don’t eat for a long time before sex but then I’m so hungry I can’t really be myself on the date.

Am I the only one who worries about this?

Please help.

Big Kiss,

Benje from the Philippines.

Hello Benje,

Thank you for your question, Sweetheart. I was wondering when this subject might pop up. It’s a delicate area, but I don’t want to be coy about it. So let’s just dive right in.

If you’ve never been on the receiving end during anal sex with a man, not only have you been missing out, but how you approach cleaning your plumbing is different than a seasoned well-exercised bottom. You see, there is a first time for everything and giving up your anal virginity is one of those things that requires tact.

I suggest you get yourself your very own douche. Don’t share. Think hygiene. You’ll want to have some lube to make insertion easier. I advise using warm water with or without soap. If you choose to use soap make sure that you purchase a gentle liquid cleanser, which is also suitable for internal use. You might want to consider a vaginal wash because they’re designed to clean gently.

A lot of people say that you should douche at least three times before pole dancing. I suggest that you do it until there is nothing to see. The water should run clear. The initial flush should eliminate most odors and any big stuff still lying around in there. The subsequent flushes will help remove some of the smaller waste particles, but you can never remove absolutely everything. The aim is to not see or smell anything unpleasant, don’t use a scrub brush and don’t bleach to remove bacteria.

When the water runs clear, you’re pretty much done. The entire process usually takes no longer than 30 minutes, not including the shower you may want to take afterwards, especially if it’s your first time. To present a fresher salad, some people will shave the area before douching, but that’s also a personal choice of course.

Keep in mind that you’re dealing with a human body, and specifically cleaning an area designed for waste elimination. Take into consideration that although tubular in shape, the colon is not perfectly smooth. So water can still leak out occasionally and there are also glands (called ‘crypts’) that can excrete a mucus that, at a glance, looks like an ‘oops!’ but is totally natural. Once your salad is washed and feeling good you can put it on the menu.

Have fun and go slow, some things ain’t made to be rushed.


Lady K.

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Disclaimer – Krystella is a force of nature and, as such, cannot be completely controlled by PLANETROMEO. In some cases our hands are tied, literally. She has insisted on her own brazen style when it comes to titles and the sound of her written pieces. We hope you enjoy her savage embrace. Peace out and play nice.