Krystella’s Inbox – Full Answers 2 New Boyfriend?


Dear Krystella,

He’s my boyfriend and future husband, but he’s not aware of this. For him, we are just friends just having savage sex sometimes. He’s a holistic operator, he creates health and freedom in people, like a professional does. But he says that, if he falls in love, he cannot more help people to stand by their way, because he first can’t stand his way, losing self-center and falling in love are the same thing for him. Tendernesses are wasted, but this is his philosophy, which I respect.

Do I have to find another boyfriend?

Hi A-man55,

You have a very active imagination. Of course, we all do, but yours is interfering with reality. I don’t want to pop your bubble, sweetie pie, but your ‘boyfriend and future husband’ has chosen his career over falling in love with you. It sounds very altruistic and self-sacrificing of him. Based on what you’re saying, he does not want to give his heart to you.

I’ve experienced a lot of things. I have chased a man to feel his love for me and was always disappointed. You see, you can chase love, but you can never catch it. Love greets you with a smile. It makes you feel good. If your love hurts you then perhaps you need to choose again.
You can’t wait for love. Love has a different time table than we do. It arrives when it’s invited and not a minute sooner. And your boyfriend is not sending out any invites anytime soon. He might just want your savage sex and nothing more. If you’re looking for a loving relationship, then you may need to look a little further.

If your future husband really believes in his philosophy, then any attempt you make to separate him from his beliefs could make things uncomfortable –  especially if it’s his reason for not being able to fall in love you. There is also a big difference between falling in love with someone and loving someone.

Falling in love has a lot less staying power than love. Falling implies a temporary state of being because nothing falls forever. Eventually, this will end, but while it’s happening, you’re out of balance.  Maybe this is what your healer-boyfriend means about not wanting to fall in love. If he was all out of balance, he would not be a good example for the people he helps.

Love and tenderness are never wasted. When you truly give love without expecting anything in return, then you’re also showing respect, because you’re not trying to change anyone. You’re accepting the person as they are. Some of us are just not that saintly, and we need to feel that falling, the pounding heartbeat and the butterflies in the stomach, that is the chemistry of falling in love. If that’s what you want, then you need to find another boyfriend. If you think you can love this man just as he is without changing anything and be completely satisfied, then you might just be as saintly as he is.

With savage love and hot puckered kisses,




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