Krystella has been reading the signs of the universe since she was a little girl. Over the centuries, she has fine-tuned her perception and now with several lifetimes of experience, in love and matters of the heart, she is a relationship expert.

For the first time, we have her responses to your questions. If you contacted Krystella and your specific question is not listed, you may find an answer that applies to your situation here. She receives a lot of enquiries about love, career prospects and money, so we have selected questions to reflect that. Many of Krystella’s responses can apply to you.


Hello Krystella,

I’m very embarrassed about this and I don’t really want you to share my name or any details. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I thought everything was great. We do so much together and all my friends love him. We had a talk recently about sex, which I thought was great, and he told me; he does not enjoy my blowjobs. He says I’m too toothy. I was so embarrassed, why didn’t he tell me before? Has he been suffering for 6 months? I was so proud of my skills at sucking but now I’m ashamed.



Oh Anonymous,

Don’t see this as a bad thing. Cocksucking critique is always hard to hear. If you’re new at this, then feedback may cause you to feel shame. Shake that shame right off and go down on that dick!

Let me introduce you to the green squash training method, as perfected by my Gran Mama, back in 1860. Go out and get yourself a selection of zucchinis from small to large. They have sensitive skin and if you get all toothy, it will show on the vegetable. Little white stripes will be left on the outside of the veggie dick. Begin with a small one and work your way up but know your limits and do not exceed your throat. A little gag can be sexy, but we don’t want no damage.


The next time you are sucking on his meat, ask him to tell you what he likes. If he’s been getting bitey blowies from you for 6 months, then the root of this mystery must be, he has an S&M side. But that’s for another time.

Blowies can lead to world peace, if we all suck at it.

Happy Sucking,




Hello Krystella,

My name is Ke*** from Brisbane, Australia. I have been on PLANETROMEO for a year now, and Brisbane is full of really nice guys, but none of them really interest me. I’m too focused on my career to worry about a full-time thing. So here’s my question. Will my career plan work out? Am I doing the right thing to avoid love and focus on work?

Any advice greatly appreciated,


Hello Ke***,

I took a long hard look at the tea leaves and your inner beauty shined up to me. Why are you keeping yourself, all to yourself? That’s so selfish. Go on ahead and share your company and your beauty with others. Stop conducting a love affair with the palm of your hand. Go get yourself a man to fall asleep on top of or under you.


Regarding your career path, ask yourself: will this job lead me to happiness? Can happiness be measured in money or memories? Money is, of course, important. You gotta cover the basics. But what’s the point in having all of them dollars, if you got no one to share it with? Balance is key, so continue to work hard and make time to shake your money maker with someone else.

Life is the longest thing you will ever do, so why go it alone? (Your hand does not count as a person.)

Kiss Kiss,





Hello Krystella.

My name is PRH and I’m from South America.

I have a question/doubt, if you could clear it up for me I would be forever thankful. 7 Years ago I met a guy on holiday in my country. The last two years I was living in Amsterdam, very close to him in Belgium. We met several times for drinks and laughs.

The thing is he declared his love to me after 7 years… And I’ve always had a thing for him

He wants us to move together to Australia next year since now he’s in Europe and I’m in South America. So my question is…


Lots of love!



Hey PRH,

I had to read your question a couple of times because there were things that made my psychic eyebrows pop up into my weave. Then it came to me: Are you sure, PRH? If you’re not sure about the relationship then you start asking questions.

I’m not here to tell you to go or stay. You need to listen to your heart, honey. You’ve known him for 7 years, including 2 years while you were in Amsterdam. (Just drinks and laughs, huh?) Well then, you should already be sure if you want to go on an adventure with this Belgium Prince Charming or not. When I’m faced with an opportunity that requires giving up my familiar surroundings for an unknown adventure, I don’t wanna feel like I might get stuck in the mud somewhere.


I loves me some adventure. But I needs to keep my independence too, and be able to take care of myself, right? I’ll be damned if I go and be a kept piece of ass. I like to know that I can go Krystella’s way if I don’t like his way. Then it doesn’t matter if the relationship works out or not because no matter what, it’ll work out for me.

Koala Hugs,



That’s it, I’m exhausted and y’all are way too needy! I went easy on you this time, as you gotta warm up to me before I reveal my true temper tantrum self. I gotta get my weave on and head on over to Gran Mama’s house. Her vegetable garden is just ripe for picking.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Bitches!

Krystella  kristella-portrait


To find out more about Krystella check out Introducing Krystella.

Krystella’s Homoscopes are here for Sagittarius and Scorpio.


Disclaimer – Krystella is a force of nature and, as such, cannot be completely controlled by PLANETROMEO. In some cases our hands are tied, literally. She has insisted on her own brazen style, when it comes to titles, and the sound of her written pieces. We hope you enjoy her savage embrace. Peace out and play nice.