Juggling – Dating A Few Guys
Juggling is the practice of seeing a few different guys at the same time. It’s like test-driving lots of potential partners simultaneously. It’s also known as playing the field, and while it may not be for everyone, it’s common enough and certainly has a few advantages.
If you totally devote yourself 100% to every new guy that comes along, you could be sending out intense signals that actually suffocate the romance. Juggling is keeping a few guys going at the same time. Meaning you can date all of them with more self-assurance and less expectation. An air of relaxed confidence can help all of you to have a much better time.
It can be tricky to manage juggling, and of course there might be times you feel a little guilty or wonder if what you’re doing is selfish. The best rule to go by is if it feels wrong don’t do it and treat the guys you’re dating the way you want to be treated.
We have a few basic tips to help you handle juggling with less guilt and more honest enjoyment.
If you’re juggling, then you have to accept that the guys you are seeing are entitled to also play the field. This means you can’t really be angry or shocked if you see them out on a date with another guy. It’s better just to enjoy the time you spend together and not be too concerned about what’s going on when their not with you.
Some guys enjoy a little bit of jealousy; it makes them feel wanted. Others hate it and think it’s a sign of distrust. When it comes to juggling, there really is no room for jealousy; it’s a case of easy come, easy go. You’re going to be managing your schedule to accommodate the men you’re seeing. Why waste time worrying if you’re the main event in their lives or just a side-piece? Push aside any jealous feelings and and enjoy the ride.
Honesty & Respect
As you get to know a person, curiosity is natural, and there will be times when you have to answer some innocent questions. Such as, where did you go last weekend? Or, are you seeing anyone else? Honesty really is the best policy, we’re all adults and lying just makes things sticky. You can be elusive and say, ‘do you really want to know?’ This at least hints at the truth. Or, you can be more direct and reply, ‘I wouldn’t say we’re exclusive just yet.’ The respect part comes with not offering or flaunting too much detail. Once you remain honest, you’d be surprised how well some guys can take the news. Of course, there will be one or two guys that consider juggling a deal breaker, and you have to let those go unless you want to give up juggling for THE ONE.
Wrapping Things Up
You might decide that one of your guys is no longer making you feel good or you’re no longer right for them. There are lots of different ways to wrap it up. Being careful with other people’s feelings has to be the primary focus. So don’t say, ‘I’m banging about three guys at the moment, and you just don’t thrill me anymore so let’s finish this’. Rather say, “I don’t think this is working for both of us.”
Picking a Winner
Okay, so you’ve been juggling for a while now, but there’s this one guy out of the group that makes you go all weak and tingly. You want to commit and put an end to all this scheduling and multi-tasking. The best thing is to be open, direct and clear with the guys you are going to stop seeing. Call or meet them, do not do it by text. Say something like, “It’s been great, but I’m falling for a guy, so I want to give it a decent shot.” Try not to focus too much on ‘breaking-up’. As a juggler, you shouldn’t really get emotionally involved with the guys you are seeing. Giving them a call and a clear message is respectful and should help to spare feelings. No one is getting dumped, situations are just changing.
Pros & Cons
Juggling is really handy if you’re new in town, or not ready for anything serious. It has its pros and cons. Meeting lots of new people and boosting confidence is nice but it also comes with a lot of scheduling and possible feelings of guilt or dishonesty. Remember, if it feels wrong, it probably is wrong, so don’t do it, and honesty really is the best policy.
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